


i got me someone else instead

by juliasaint



Category: The End Of The Fucking World (TV)
Genre: F/M, Marriage, One Shot, Romance, i liked todd he was super sweet, just a bit of alyssa's pov on her relationship with todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21926398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliasaint/pseuds/juliasaint
Summary: Alyssa really liked Todd. That didn't stop her from running away with James.
Relationships: Alyssa/James (The End of the Fucking World)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 31





	i got me someone else instead

Alyssa liked Todd. She really did. She liked him from the moment she saw him. She liked that he was so tall and broad and yet he had such a soft smile, such gentle hands.

(Obviously she would never tell him anything like that. She would've sound like a lovesick idiot.)

She liked making out with him and having dinner with him and talking to him. They were very similar, but he wasn't as talkative as her, so they balanced each other out. He would talk in sporadic comments and weird questions. She really liked that.

She liked that they were almost the same. It made everything easier. She didn't have to explain herself. With James, she always felt like she had to give explanations. He seemed confused at almost anything she did. Todd understood, Todd didn't ask questions. Todd just let her be.

James didn't matter anyway, not since he had dumped her. It was fine. Alyssa was fine. She wasn't stupid. She knew that once you get dumped, there’s nothing you can do. Denial is just lame. He had dumped her. Alright, then. That meant she could move on. That meant she didn't have to feel guilty when she kissed Todd. Not at all.

They kissed quite a lot. They gave each other pecks and they made out and they had sex. Sex was alright. Alyssa wasn't, like, mad about it, to be honest. But it was alright. Todd was always really nice to her. She hadn't told him their first time had been her first time ever, because that was such a useless thing to say, but maybe he could tell. It was hard, sometimes, knowing what Todd was thinking. He always had the same look in his eyes. He was pretty tender and shit. Like a deer or something. 

(If he was a deer living tenderly in the grass, what was she? Was she his home in the forest? Was she just a deer like him, even though she lacked in tenderness? Was she a hunter?)

Todd was alright. He was more than alright. Being married to him would be more than alright, wouldn't it? She figured that if she was already bound to work forever as a waitress in the middle of nowhere, it made sense to settle down at nineteen. Maybe they would have some children. Todd wanted to and Alyssa wanted to try it out, maybe. She was pretty sure she couldn't be any more of a shit show at it than her parents, so she should be fine.

Maybe after they got married they would move to a big house and have a fuckton of kids and be happy.

She wanted to be happy. She really, really wanted it. And sometimes she thought she was. When Todd said yes to her very sudden proposal, she felt quite happy. But at other times she felt like all that happiness was as thin as a paper sheet. That it would break as soon as she poked it with a finger.

The truth was that, even standing in her wedding dress, at her wedding reception, looking at her lovely groom, she was still thinking about James. So much for moving on. This was all  _ his _ fault for coming back to her with his stupid, now slightly changed face. He looked more mature, would’ve even looked like a proper grown-up if it weren’t for his insufferable nervousness. Also, she was pretty sure his leg was fucked up. At least he hadn't died. She took a big gulp of her beer. She had thought he would die. She had cried about it, had started crying above his body and then hadn't stopped for months. 

Turns out he hadn't died. Alright, then. That was good. But they weren't… friends or whatever anymore. So she didn't have any reason to be thinking about him during her own goddamn wedding.

And yet she was standing there thinking about his dorky laugh and how at first he seemed to not have any facial expressions at all but now she could probably name fifteen of them just from memory. About how he had tried to save her, even if she was pretty sure at the start he wanted to kill her or something. About how he had taken a bullet just to try and save her. Alyssa was pretty sure no one else had ever loved her like that. 

Maybe she did miss him. Maybe she didn’t want him to leave if there was a chance they might not meet again. 

(Maybe she had been thinking about his eyebrows and his fucked up hand and the knife he had even though he shouldn’t and his saddened face when she came back after leaving him and the way he had kissed her. Maybe she had been thinking about him for two years straight.)

Oh, fuck it. Yes, she liked Todd. She really did like him a lot.

But she didn’t love him. And that was why she had to leave him. In the end, she was always going to leave anyone that wasn’t James. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Your Side Of The Bed by Lotte a couple days after finishing season two and I couldn't stop thinking about James and Alyssa. The title is part of the song's lyrics.  
> English is not my first language and I'm not used to writing like this but I hope you enjoyed it! Comments are always appreciated.


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